Hochiminh’s Rant Day 19

Once a week, I will attempt to do a lineage of a current Wii or DS character, similar to the one-page article you see in the Nintendo Power Book. Unfortunately, I don’t have Sketchpad, so I can’t edit these pictures, so I will outline everything below the picture.

Project Hammer’s Cyborg Prototype Lineage

project hammer
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BIG, BAD, AND BALD: These are walking-tall behemoths that may not be attractive, but frighteningly evil. Yeah, Mr. Potato Head may not be big and bad, but what if you saw him in REAL LIFE. He even gives me nightmares! These three candidates beat out Jabba the Hut and Morpheus as honorable mentions!

King Hippo.jpg
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King Hippo
Mr. Potato Head2.jpg
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Mr. Potato Head
Marshmallow Man.jpg
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Marshmallow Man

ONE-EYED CREATURES: One-eyed monstrosities either portray a pirate or a completely different monoker. Hammer stemmed from these three, the latter known specifically in “The Goonies”.

Kano.jpg
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Kano
Mikie.jpg
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Mikie from Monsters Inc.
One-eyed Willie.jpg
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One-Eyed Willie

Armor-Bearers: This goes back to the medieval times, when jousting and having a merry ole time was the way to go. And nothing more can protect you from the outer coating of an ARMOUR HOT DOG! “GET YOUR HOT DOGSSSSSSSS!”

Metal Plate.jpg
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The Metal Plate
Armour Hot Dogs.jpg
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Armour Hot Dogs
Robid Hood.jpg
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Robin Hood Armor

Hammer Wielders: The legendary hammer has been wielded by some of the most famous icons, in or out of the video screen box. Look at Triple-H; I hope he doesn’t bash someone’s skull in. Then you got MC Hammer. And look where he ended up: BANKRUPT!

Hammer Bros.jpg
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Hammer Bros.
Triple H.jpg
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Triple H’s Sledgehammer
Peter Gabriel.jpg
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Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer” Video
Thor Hammer.jpg
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Thor’s Hammer
MC Hammer.jpg
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MC Hammer

ALL-IN-ALL COMPARISON: For a comparison of the Hammer borg’s looks and/or personality or weapon, I think he looks mostly like these characters:

Kano.jpg
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Kano: Whether brothers in a past life or common dead-eye set interests, Kano and Hammer are alike, except ones got a hammer and the other: a knife.
Cortez.jpg
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Cortez: He may have two eyes, but Cortez, the protagonist from Timesplitters, with phrases like “TIME TO SPLIT!”, shows us that he can kick monster butt with firepower while Hammer mauls cars and other inanimate objects (hopefully!)
Arnold.jpg
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The Terminator: And finally, we’ve got the half cyborg freak, the Terminator, with his glowing red eye similarity. I don’t think you’ll see him behind a grocery store counter, but you can bet your bottom dollar you’ll see him hurl baddies across the room or shoot them down with a semi-auto shotgun. Mauling=very Hammer-like!That concludes this section of Lineage. Hope to start another one soon!

justin_hazlett2001@yahoo.com'
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About the author:

I’m 25 and own my own home. I have one step child and a wife. I work as a Team leader at a restuarant about 50 hrs. a week. Otherwise, I surf the web or play video games.

Justin – who has written posts on NintendoFuse.


  • http://lifeparticles.com/ sirkism

    Might want to check the coding for this post. The link seems to go all the way down :-o

  • http://lifeparticles.com/ sirkism

    Might want to check the coding for this post. The link seems to go all the way down :-o

  • http://lifeparticles.com sirkism

    Might want to check the coding for this post. The link seems to go all the way down :-o

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