Nintendo: Fix your online gaming service!
Steve Bogda from damnlag writes:
I love playing games online. I love playing Nintendo games. Playing Nintendo games online is the physical equivalent of slicing your forehead open and smashing it with a salt-lathered spatula.
Besides the fact that it’s indeed Wi-Fi, there is absolutely nothing to like about Nintendo’s Wi-Fi Connection service. Nada. Zlitch. Black hole. There is no bright side of things when dealing with such a barebones, disabled service. It’s like trying to find positive aspects of a baseball player with no limbs.
The Big N utilizes a system that every Nintendo fan is painfully aware of: friend codes. Rather than being able to virtually represent yourself with a username, you are give a generic Mii and a sterile twelve digit code. When I was first given my friend code, I wondered if a clone trooper helmet was going to arrive in the mail a few days later. To boot, all of your gaming peers are veiled in anonymity. Being anonymous is fantastic for posting nude pictures of yourself on 4Chan, but when it comes to online gaming, you’d like your fellow gamers to know at least a tad about yourself.
Nintendo has always preached that they offer a “family friendly” and “safe” medium of online play that their competitors don’t offer. Nintendo is more than just conscious of the millions of children that flock to their parents’ wallets; they have designed their online system around this demographic. Nintendo believes that by appealing to children and their parents on the online front, that they’ll make up for any losses garnered by alienating the hardcore crowd.
FOUR EASY STEPS TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN:
Step 1: End Friend Codes
Step 2: Voice Chat that actually f***ing works
Step 3: Profiles
Step 4: Release updates for old games to match the new system