Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS to Include 124 Playable Characters (Satire)
In a leaked interview with IGN’s Andrew Goldfarb, Super Smash Bros. for Wii U/3DS director Masahiro Sakurai revealed tons of details regarding the upcoming games for Nintendo’s current console and handheld systems. Included in this information was the shocking announcement that the games are set to include a whopping 124 playable characters.
“Fan input via Facebook, Twitter, Miiverse and e-mail has been absolutely overwhelming ever since the games were shown off at E3 of this year. We’ve had people suggesting roster additions spanning all of Nintendo’s history. The fans’ suggestions have been so in-depth that there were some characters that I had never even heard of (laughs). Everything from popular characters like K.K. Slider to more obscure ones like Mike Jones from StarTropics. I don’t want to disappoint my fans, so naturally I decided to include as many characters as possible. We currently have 124 playable characters in our new Smash Bros. roster.”
With so many characters to program, animate and balance, Goldfarb asked Sakurai about the difficulties in dealing with such a large roster.
“We’ve been working non-stop to ensure that all the characters are evenly matched. It all started when I was playing Brawl with my friend, and he beat me by using Sonic’s homing attack repeatedly. I was pretty embarrassed, and wanted to avoid that kind of situation in the future. As a result, most of our employees are sleeping in the office in order to have the fighters balanced by 2014. Everything escalated when we started adding in all the characters our fans are requesting… it’s really difficult to level out a playing field that includes so many fighters. Namco-Bandai has been a huge help in that regard.”
“Boss characters like Ridley are massive in their respective games, and when we got our first fan requests to make them playable we were a bit sceptical. However, we were able to scale them down to the same size as the other fighters. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but they’re there (laughs). The real problems arose when our designers began to consider movesets for less significant characters like the ExciteBike racer and Lolo. They don’t have enough memorable moves from their original games, so we’ve been making things up.”
When asked about his thoughts about how the fan community has influenced the game, Sakurai said:
“When it comes to sequels, gamers expect the same experience that they love and are accustomed to, but at the same time demand something fresh and exciting. In that way, they’re really unpredictable. Through social media, we’ve been able to monitor what the fans think about the latest additions. It’s really tough to slave away at something for hours upon hours, all the while dealing with the pain in my shoulder, only to have fans complain about it like they did when Wii Fit Trainer was first announced. That’s why we’ve added so many characters – we just want to keep the fans as happy as possible. We’re even talking to Microsoft and Sony about having characters like Master Chief and Sackboy appear in the game because that’s what fans are asking for. And anyways, I’m sure that Sony aficionados will feel refreshed to have their favorite characters appear in a good fighting game for once.”
Below are some of the most common tweets and posts for character suggestions regarding the new SmashBros. games:
Alexandre Trottier first played Super Smash Bros. on the N64, and immediately thought to himself “Man, this would be way more fun if I could fight as Slippy Toad”. With the new games for Wii U and 3DS, his dream is finally likely to be fulfilled. Hopefully by this point you’ve realized that the article is entirely satirical, and should not be taken seriously. Let us know your thoughts by tweeting to @NF_Alexandre and @NintendoFuse, heading over to the NintendoFuse forums as well as to the comments below. Along the way, you’ll pass by some fancy “share” buttons that you should press in order to confuse all your video game-loving friends, and maybe even teach them a lesson about how ridiculous Smash Bros. would be if every character they wanted appeared in the game.